Diary of a Low Budget Superhero

Holy mother of colossal time-suckery. I can't stop playing Plants vs. Zombies.

Follow up:

I may have mentioned a time or three that I had to learn to censor myself a long time ago against getting into those immersive, multi-level fantasy games, else I'd be unemployed and half blind with an A-button controller muscle in my thumb the size of...well, big. In my 20s, I would start out intending to play for a couple of hours, then "just one more puzzle" becomes "just one more level" and before I know it, the sun is rising and it's time to go to work on no sleep and be useless all day; well, I couldn't very well call in with a raging case of Legend of Zelda, can I? I just can't stop playing once I get started. So in the interest of becoming a professional adult with something to contribute to society, whenever I'd be tempted to get a game, I would remind myself of The Great Lost "Myst" Weekend of 1995. Or the black hole in time that was Thanksgiving, Schmanksgiving, I got "Riven."

Plants vs. Zombies. Neil turned me on to it last week. I've already beaten the game to the end credits, now I'm going back through again winning extra's and bonuses.

Much like World of Goo or Katamari Damacy, Plants vs. Zombies is easy to explain, yet impossible to explain WHY it's so fun. You get a house and yard, right? And these zombies are trying to cross your yard, get into your house and eat your brains! They shuffle across the lawn and groan "Brraaaaains..."

That's where the plants come in. You plant peas, cabbage, corn, squash, and so forth. Your plants battle the zombies. The peas shoot peas, the corn shoots butter, the squash squashes 'em. You MUST plant sunflowers, though. Sunflowers give you sun value which, the more sun you can collect, the faster you can grow plants, ergo the more defense you'll have against the zombie invasion.

I start every level by planting two whole rows of sunflowers. The goal is keep the zombies from getting into the house and eating your brains. As the zombies advance, they eat your plants, so you need to keep replanting.

Some plants are more resistant. Then again, some zombies are more resistant! In fact there are many plant varieties (even a nite mode with mushrooms instead of flowers) and an equally high variety of zombies. You get to learn that the plants carry a value, a sun value, and that some grow faster than others. As you collect more and more sun value, you earn ever-more-valuable plants. But you wanna be cunning about it, see? You gotta use strategy, you gotta think fast! You don't wanna waste a high-value plant (like a watermelon cannon!) against an ordinary zombie that a low-value plant (like a pea shooter) could handle easily.

Pretty quickly you get to learn which plants stage the best defense against which zombies. You plant your rows based on what kind of zombies are coming. For example, the zombies with metal buckets on their heads are better armed against the projectile-throwing plants such as pea shooters-- they'll succumb eventually, but it takes many more peas, y'know, 'cuz of the protective bucket. Against the bucket heads, you want to either plant a LOT of pea shooters, or take them out with a squash, or a potato mine.

The graphics are adorable. I love the sly expression on the squash's face just before he squashes a zombie, and the wall nut's alarm when a zombie starts to eat him.

I love this game!

Fuck you, Neil, I had a LOT I was going to do this week!