Diary of a Low Budget Superhero

Here's what happened.

Last Friday I left my apartment for work. Out in my hallway I said, "Ugh, what is that smell!"

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Something smelled like old cheese and feet. I clomped down the stairs, where I spied my first floor neighbors' doormat heaped with their shoes...they leave their shoes in the hall for some reason...and there on top was a nasty, germy, black-with-street-muck pair of flip flops. "OH GOD," I thought, hurrying past and out the door to Commonwealth Ave. Ah, sweet escape into...well, into soupy humid air, but still, better than the rank cheese/foot combo. I took a deep breath and set off on my walk to work. Only...hm, I still smelled the smell.

Follow up:

I smelled it all the way down Allston Street. I smelled it all the way down Brighton Ave. I still smelled it when I got to work. OK, sometimes you can smell something awful and it kind of stays with you, and sure those were repulsive flip flops, but there's no way the smell stuck with me THAT long.

So I did what we all do in this situation. I started to surreptitiously sniff myself, pluck at my blouse, raise each arm, check the soles of my shoes. "Is it me?" (Sniff, sniff)

"It's not me."

I finally figured out that the smell was inside my nose. What fresh hell was this?

I almost called Joe's sister, the audiologist. She knows everything about ear, nose and throat. But I always ping her with my questions, and she was at work, so instead of bothering her I Googled. I had never heard of this malady before, but I learned that a bad smell inside your nose can happen when you're dealing with plugged sinuses (welcome to my whole life) and that it is most likely old phlegm, unable to drain, which can linger and begin to stink, and yes it WILL become a sinus infection if you do nothing.

"You're KIDDING me, it can STINK?" Now what? Call my ENT, Doctor Stern, get an emergency appointment? But wait, what's this medical website saying about home remedy. What's this...Neti Pot.

Well. I read all about the Neti Pot, which sounded a bit like a nose douche. All the while totally skeptical, but decided to at least TRY it before I tried to beg an appointment with the busy Doc Stern on a Friday afternoon. If it didn't work I would call him on Monday. Most of the reviews were glowing, but some were intriguing, talking about "it's dangerous" because you have to "do upside down contortions in the shower." Eh? Contortions? I needed to see this contraption of death.

On my way home from work I went to Walgreens and got one designed by an ENT. Actually, I think they are ALL designed by ENTs, but I picked Sinucleanse because that brand offers a starter kit that includes the plastic pot and 30 packets of saline powder, as opposed to some other brands that come with a hundred saline packets. A hundred! I didn't even know if I'd be able to do it, or if it would work.

It did work. And it's FREAKIN' AWESOME.

I love my Neti Pot. It's so easy to use. All you do is fill the little pot with warm tap water, stir in the packet of saline powders, tilt your head over the sink and, quite literally, pour the water into one nostril so it drains out the other. Contortions? Who're these online reviewers saying you have to do contortions to use a Neti Pot? Only if you consider brushing your teeth a circus act, because it's no harder than that. Especially if you buy the premixed kind, it's foolproof.

Immediately upon first use the water flowed, then got a bit viscous. It felt a bit like the sensation of getting sea water up your nose when you're swimming in the ocean. The viscous fluid was all the gluey crap that had been collected in my airways. I blinked cross-eyed down at the cleansing stream pouring into my bathroom sink. As the pot grew emptier I became more amazed that I was already feeling a difference. When you're done you have to gently blow out, not too hard because you don't want the liquid to jet into your ear tube.

For my first try, I did half a pot on each side. The bad smell was gone right away. The directions said you can do it every two hours, so I did that throughout the weekend, eventually going ahead with a full pot on each side. That was last weekend, and now I just do it before bed, and most mornings when I wake up. I have literally never felt this good. I haven't woken up in the morning with one of my nasty sinus headaches in a week. Joe said I haven't snored at all. "Maybe I should get one," he mused. I haven't needed any of the remedies I keep handy, not the Sudafed, Claritin, Zyrtec or Afrin nasal spray. Could it be possible that my vision is actually better? Is that real or imaginary? It feels amazing. How could something so simple be so life-affirming? I mean, I'm telling you, I feel great.

So jazzed was I by the results achieved by the Neti Pot, that I researched it some more and learned all about its Indian origins. The sinus cleansing is called Jala Neti, and it's one of the cleansing rituals in the Hatha Yoga tradition.

So jazzed by THAT was I, that I went into a reverie about the old days, when I used to take Iyengar Yoga lessons every Sunday from Suzi Lee, and that time Hub and I took meditation classes together. I stopped doing meditation and quit Yoga when Suzi moved away. How come?

There's TOTALLY places around here that teach Yoga. One is literally across the street from work.

I'm gonna take Yoga again!

If your nose is always stuffed up, there's a great site here that offers detailed instructions on how to use a Neti pot.

(Oh and even though they weren't the smell source, those flip flops were DAMN nasty.)