Diary of a Low Budget Superhero

Hey peoples. Howdy. I'm ever so glad I made good on my promise to lay off the Facebook. I'm doing SO much writing and feel super-duper good about my creativity!

NOT.

Follow up:

I'm still obsessively checking in like five times an hour, clicking the "I Like" and hiding the quizzes -- but not before reading the results, mind you. I've even taken some quizzes. It turns out the "NCIS character I am" is Abbey. Why does this please me? There is only one answer: Facebook is making me stupid. It's rotting my brain. It's realigning priorities!

Now it's gone too far. It made me Google the Jon and Kate.

To explain: A couple of weeks ago it seemed many of my Facebook friends had something snarky to say about "Kate Gosselin's" hair, so, not having a blessed clue who that was and thinking I missed some important cultural moment in history, I Googled "Kate Gosselin." I thought it might have been that football player's wife. I found it's the mom from the show with all the kids. I'm not unaware of this show, because we watch The Learning Channel a lot and you cannot escape the promo. But it never even crossed my mind to watch it. In fact, I recall catching about two minutes of it. The snippet I saw was the mom, Kate, stalking around the house looking for a receipt for something Jon had just bought. The dialogue volleyed, in increasingly snotty and hateful tones:

"Where's the receipt, Jon?
"I don't know."
"Where's the RECEIPT, Jon?
"I don't KNOW."
"WHERE is the receipt, JON?
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"WHERE'S THE DAMN RECEIPT?

*click*

I remember telling Joe, "I would kill her if I had to live with her." It's the kind of TV that makes me start dialing Comcast to cancel the cable. We did the same thing with Bridezillas -- caught about five minutes, blessed each other for being sane, and put on a movie.

So this Kate haircut Google thing, that was a few weeks back. Yes, that is a bad haircut she has, but even worse, I HAD that haircut. I'm pretty sure I could find an old Diaryland entry describing that very same hair on me. Oy.

Fast forward to ANOTHER round of Facebooking last week, this time about "Jon Gosselin's earrings." Now, by this time, I had forgotten about the last name "Gosselin," so when I read "Jon Gosselin" I said "Who?" I Googled AGAIN! "THESE people!" I said, slamming my mouse against the table. WHY! Of all the many melodramatic reality TV shows, why is this one such a Facebook sensation?

Fast forward AGAIN to this week. It got even more rampant. Apparently, Jon and Kate announced a divorce. Shocker. I have seen a total of two minutes, plus of course the promo ads on TLC, and could've told you that this is an unhappy pair.

Fucking Facebook. From now on, I will check in before work, once during work morning, once during work afternoon, and once more at night. Four times a day.

Let's see how that goes, eh?